my Weekend as a boy

For about a month (since i made the decision to go), i was more nervous than i have ever been about anything in my life.   i know... most of you think that i never get nervous - jumping into things at the slightest invitation and trying to run it all.   But this was different.   The knowledge that i was committing myself to be submissive for a weekend to a panel of experts was unsettling, to say the least.   The opportunity to learn about this lifestyle, its protocol and honor, became too enticing to pass up.   As i sent in my petition, i remember thinking that it wouldn't be accepted anyway, so why worry?   After all, this was a gay male area of SMBD (as they refer to it) and they wouldn't want a primarily het female along for the ride?   WRONG!   After a phone conversation with Master Jim and an acceptance letter from Master Walradt, i made my travel and hotel reservations... and prayed.

The website had little information about what to expect.   It did have a list of rules, most of which were repeated in the emails i received about the class:  no cologne, perfume, deodorant, tennis shoes (black combat or lace-up boots were recommended - no western style boots - so i went out and bought a pair), nothing but jeans, jean or leather shorts or basic black below the knee skirts (oh good, there would be *SOME* females in attendance, i hoped), and only t-shirts (white or black with no insignias other than those of leather bars/events).   The website went on to say no underwear, other than jockstraps, which made me even more nervous.

I got to Dallas (by way of Houston - go figure!) with very little difficulty and arrived at my hotel room about an hour ahead of my roommate.   Donna turned out to be wonderful... willing to answer my questions about the lesbian practices and preferences and offered the use of her car for us both to come and go from the events.

Our first stop was the "Meet and Greet" at the Eagle... a local gay leather bar.   The only females there, we got a beer and went to play pool.   After a bit, the bartender came back and asked us, "you aren't here for the boy class, are you?"   We laughed and said "Yes".   It seems that a couple of the boys had arrived, asked the bartender if they were in the right place, so he started questioning everyone in the bar.   Naturally, he left us till last! We met the two boys and began our adventure.

Before long, the bar was teeming with boys and leather clad Sirs, Daddies and Masters.   The protocol was casual and we enjoyed getting to know everyone and sharing anxieties about the weekend.   We left shortly after midnight... grabbed a quick late dinner and went to bed.   It took me a long time to get to sleep.   Our 9:00am start in the morning was so close and i was really nervous.

The classes were held in a 5500 sq.ft. dungeon and it was equipped amazingly well.   There were several bondage racks and frames, 7 crosses, 2 gyn tables, 2 stationary bondage tables and one hanging from chains from the ceiling.   There were also several spanking benches/horses and a leather sling.   We were issued a name tag, notebook, pen and dog tags.   The center of the room was full of chairs and we all took our seats after enjoying a wonderful fruit and pastry breakfast.

The first session was about SM Philosophies, including D/s role play and gender differences in boys.   I was surprised to learn that many female boys actually identify as male and live as a boy.   In addition, each presenter gave his history and why this type of class was important to Him.

Leather History & Practices followed, with discussions about what books, articles, and on-line material were available.

After a short break, we re-assembled at 10:15 to get into the meat of Leather Protocol.   We were told about various forms of training, basic boy manners, dress, forms of address, posture and positions, expectations of potential Sirs or Ma'ams and manners toward other Sirs or Ma'ams.   We learned to lace our boots right over left (who would have thought) and to fold our white socks down over the laces of our boots when wearing cutoff shorts.

We learned a lot about the Old Guard houses, how they function, how to petition to become part of a house and what the various types of collars represent and are used for.   Play collars, used for a short term scene or playtime, differ greatly from protective collars (used while training and during time of negotiation) and contract collars, which are placed on the submissive or boy at the time the contract is signed.   Chain collars are used more often for slaves, but sometimes submissives/boys wear them instead of the leather collars we are used to seeing.

Rituals interest me greatly and i was glad that many of the presenters shared my passion.   Rituals set aside and mark a very different kind of relationship.   As one put it...  "Ritual is a way of remembering those that have gone before as well as those who are here now and will come."   What a wonderful sentiment!   Another expressed that ritual is a "reminder of who you are" and can be used whether you are in a relationship at this time or not.

Service was stressed as a fulfillment of its own... separate from physical or sexual play.   Everything can be service.   Physical proximity is not necessary to be in service to your Dominant.

Communication is the tool that allows successful service to take place.   One quote that was particularly insightful was:

"For a Dominant to responsibly care for a submissive, the submissive must give the Dominant *all* the information.   For a submissive to properly serve a Dominant, the Dominant must give the submissive *all* the information."

The next session was on Formal Service and i was surprised to learn about formal table service;  how to set a table in the highest of protocols and how to serve in all types of dinner situations.   We also learned about writing notes & letters and how to keep Sir or Ma'am's date book.

The last morning session was on leather care and was very informative.   We learned to clean leather, how to care for it, and how to care for boots.

We were all glad to break for lunch for an hour and try to absorb some of what we had learned and decipher our notes.   We had a wonderful lunch of sandwiches, fruit, chips and other munchies.   When we returned to the main room of the dungeon, we were surprised to find the lights low and music playing.   Soon, we were witnessing two demonstrations side by side... one was an erotic boot blacking demo and the other was an erotic foot worship demo.   They were very different but each spectacular in their own way.   It definitely gave me a new understanding of the love of leather boots.

The afternoon session began with a discussion of types of relationships... Top/bottom, Daddy/boy, Mommy/girl, Sir/boy, Master/slave and many variations.   We also learned about what to look for when looking for a Ma'am or Sir, what to avoid, where to look and how to present ourselves.   Even those not looking for a relationship gained insights into how to act appropriately.

Scene Negotiation was next, with information about safe words and limits... and what to ask before playing with someone.   We split up into small groups of two or three and the presenters allowed us to roleplay negotiations with them.   It was a really interesting session... even for someone who knows a lot about negotiating.

Scene safety followed, with some good tips about bar pick ups, on-line pick ups and one-night stand play.   Dinner followed, when we were allowed to leave for the first time.   Donna and i opted to go back to the hotel.   She wanted a nap and i was dying to take a hot bath and relax for awhile.   We grabbed a quick sandwich after and got back for the evening sessions with time to spare.

First came Scening with Sir or Ma'am, a discussion about care of equipment, pain management and safety issues.   The highlight of the day was an opportunity to negotiate & experience in a short, non-intense atmosphere various SMBD play with experienced Tops, called "Stations of the St. Andrews Cross".

Everyone got an opportunity to observe and experience flogging, paddling, electricity, bondage & suspension, clothes pins (one boy boasted taking 250 at one time), sensory play, cbt and genitorture, hot wax, interrogation/mind games, fire play, shaving, temporary piercing (one boy had his dogtags sewn to his ball sack!) and the single tail.   A dungeon party followed.

After a very short night's sleep, we started our second and last day of training.   Everyone was a bit sleepy and as we sat cupping our coffee and trying to wake up, Mistress Kasi's greeted us in her normal enthusiastic way.   "Good Morning, boys!" We answered, "Good morning, Ma'am".   She asked us how we felt and we moaned a bit.   She decided then that it was time for "boy calisthenics" - Stand, Present, Heel, Kneel.... Stand, Present, Heel, Kneel... and soon we were all more awake than we wanted to be.   In fact, some of my leg muscles are still awake!

The first session was on relationships.   Negotiations within a relationship, creating a contract and safety issues.

Then came a discussion of more internal issues;  putting Sir or Ma'am first, obedience and internalization of the boy role.   Rather than try to describe this, i would like to simply repeat some of the things that impressed me.

"A Dominant should never take away from a person what they cannot put back."

"Never deny anyone the right to be loved by someone else."

"Not every problem can be solved to everyone's total satisfaction, but only through communication, understanding and compromise can the family survive and prosper."

"If you feel that you know more than your Master, maybe it's time to change your keys."

"Credit me with the things i do know, teach me the things i don't know and let's learn the rest together."

"When you are saying, 'Yes, but...', take your butt out of it!"

"Service:  Do it when it's not fun.   Do it when it's not sexy.   Do it when it's the last thing you want to do."

"Narrow the directed response gap:  the time between when the order is given and the submissive/slave makes that order their desire also."

"Be all that you can be."

The weekend ended with our "Completion Ceremony" where we were presented with a Certificate of Achievement and a green hanky.   The hour was late and i barely made my flight in time.   i was exhausted but happy... and looking forward to sharing what i had learned.   It was a very interesting and rewarding experience!


My Home Page