Negotiation Worksheet


Negotiation Long Form


1.  People

Who will take part?
Who will watch?
Note: The session will involve only those people specifically named above.

Will any permanent record be made of the session (photographs, audio tapes or videotapes)?   Explanation:


2.  Roles

Who will be dominant?
Who will be submissive?

Type of scene:
   master/slave    mistress/slave    captive    servant/butler/Etc.
   cross-dressing/gender play    age play    animal play    other

Any chance of switching roles?   Explanation:
Will the submissive promptly obey?   Explanation:
May the dominant "overpower" or "force" the submissive?   Explanation:
May the submissive verbally resist?   Explanation:
May the submissive physically resist?   Explanation:
Does resistance equal a "strong yellow"?   Explanation:
May the submissive try to "turn the tables"?   Explanation:
Does the submissive agree to wear a collar?   Explanation:
The submissive agrees to address the dominant by the following title(s):


3.  Place/Location

Who will ensure privacy?

4.  Time

Begin at: __________ Length: _____________________________

Beginning signal?
Ending signal?
Who will keep track of time?


5.  Oops

Does everybody involved understand that there is some risk of accident, miscommunication, misperception and/or unintentional injury?

Does everybody involved agree to discuss any mishaps in a constructive and non-blaming manner?


6.  Limits

Submissive's Limits:

Submissive's physical/emotional/SM activity limits:

Any problems with the submissive's:
Is the submissive wearing contact lenses?
Does the submissive suffer from carpal tunnel syndrome or related problems?

Does the submissive have a history of:
Describe any phoias:

Submissive's other medical conditions: Any surgical implants (breasts, face, etc.)?   Explanation:
Is the submissive taking aspirin?
Is the submissive taking ibuprofen, Aleve, or other non-steroidal, anti-inflammatory drugs?
Is the submissive taking antihistamines?
Other medications submissive is taking?

Allergic to:
In case of emergency notify?


Dominant's Limits:

Dominant's physical/emotional/SM activity limits:

Any problems with the dominants:
Dominant's other medical conditions?
Medications dominant is taking?
In case of emergency notify?
Is the dominant currently certified in First Aid/CPR?

Safety gear on hand:
Will the play be in an isolated area such as a farmhouse?
If yes, what will ensure the submissive's safety if the dominant becomes unconscious?

7.  Sex

Does any participant believe they might have a sexually transmitted disease?    Explanation:

Does any participant believe they might have herpes?   Explanation:
Have participants been tested for HIV?
Has any participant tested positive?   Explanation:
Which of the following sexual acts are acceptable?
Masturbation:   _____ dom to sub   _____ sub to dom
    _____ Self-masturbation by submissive
    _____ Self-masturbation by dominant
    Fellatio:                      _____ dom to sub    _____ sub to dom
    Cunnilingus:                _____ dom to sub    _____ sub to dom
    Analingus:                   _____ dom to sub    _____ sub to dom
    Anal fisting:                 _____ dom to sub    _____ sub to dom
    Vaginal fisting:             _____ dom to sub    _____ sub to dom
    Vaginal intercourse:     _____ dom to sub    _____ sub to dom
    Anal intercourse:         _____ dom to sub    _____ sub to dom
    Is swallowing semen acceptable?
    Is any participant menstruating?
    Will sex toys such as vibrators, dildoes, butt plugs, etc. be used?
    Describe:

Which of the above activities will involve birth control pills, diaphragms, spermicidal suppositories, lubricants containing nonoxynol-9, or contraceptive foam/suppositories/gel?

Which of the above activities will involve condoms, gloves, dental dams, and/or other barriers?


8.  Intoxicants

The dominant can use (only) what intoxicants during the session:
Acceptable quantity?
The submissive can use (only) what intoxicants during the session?
Acceptable quantity?


9.  Bondage

The submissive agrees to allow (only) the following types of bondage:

10.  Pain

Submissive's general attitude about receiving pain:
___ likes ___ accepts ___ neutral ___ dislikes ___ will not accept

Quantity of pain submissive wants to receive:
_____ none _____ small _____ average _____ large

Explanation:

Dominant's general attitude about giving pain:
___ likes ___ will give ___ neutral ___ dislikes ___ will not give

Quantity of pain dominant wants to give:
_____ none _____ small _____ average _____ large

Explanation:

Will the "now" technique be used?   Explanation:
Will the "nod" technique be used?   Explanation:
Will the "one to ten" technique be used?   Explanation:

The following types of pain are acceptable:

11.  Marks

Is it acceptable to the submissive if the play leaves marks?
Visible while wearing street clothes?
Visible while wearing a bathing suit?
Other?

Is it acceptable to the submissive if the play draws small amounts of blood?   Explanation?
How easy or difficult has it been to mark the submissive in the past?


12.  Erotic Humiliation

The submissive agrees to accept being referred to by what terms?

The submissive agrees to the following forms of erotic humiliation:
Any prior really good or really bad experiences in these areas?


13.  Safewords

Safeword #1 and its meaning?
Safeword #2 and its meaning?
Safeword #3 and its meaning?
Non-verbal safewords and their meanings?

Will "two squeezes" be used?
Will the "extended hand" technique be used?


14.  Opportunities/Special Skills

Anything in particular either party would like to try or explore?


15.  Follow-Up

(Please include a note about who will initiate contacts.)

After the session?
The next day?
A week later?
In case of a crisis?


16. Anything else?

What will become of this form after the session?

Post Session Notes (one to ten scale, ten highest)

Dominant:
Submissive:
Copyright 1996 by Jay Wiseman, SM101, reprinted with permission

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