Safe, Sane & Consensual

Civilized BDSM couldn't exist without it... or could it?

If you came to the BDSM scene in the last 15 years, you've heard the SSC Rule and been told that this is the *only* way to practice BDSM.   To suggest that anyone might play outside its boundaries is like suggesting it's okay to beat your dog.   What a lot of people don't realize is... this is a fairly new concept.   BDSM existed long before it came along and those of us who were into the Scene before its conception naturally view it with a little skepticism.

How did it begin?

Historically, david stein is most associated with the coining of the phrase “safe, sane, and consensual S/M” in 1983 for Gay Male S/M Activists (GMSMA), an organization that he co-founded and helped lead for 11 years (he remains a member but is no longer active in a leadership role).   The phrase subsequently spread throughout the U.S. and beyond, especially via the S/M-Leather Contingent at the 1987 March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights, which used “Safe Sane Consensual” as its slogan.  To see how david described his intentions, click here.

From "A Brief History of the National Leather Association":

"In conjunction with the 1987 Gay and Lesbian March on Washington Barry Douglas, representing GMSMA, with the assistance of many others, organized a National Leather Conference to be held the Saturday before the March.   NLA was invited to organize the workshop sessions for this conference held in the Department of the Treasury's large conference hall.   The next day thousands of leather men and women marched behind the banner reading "Safe-Sane-Consensual".   This was the first time that those three words, which have become a mantra for our community, were used in the way we now know them."

So basically, it began to be used as a "sound bite" for the vanilla world that was looking on...  a way to present the community as a non-threatening, safe segment of society.  Although that was not what david intended, there's really nothing wrong with that.  For the most part, the play we engage in *is* safe - or at least as safe as we can make it.  The concept of sane is a little harder to define.  And we do consent - if only by putting ourselves in the situation.

But let's don't throw away the large segment of our community that still remembers a time when Tops were trained and mentored by their seniors...  and were considered "safe" when they passed the test of time and were presented to the community by those senior Tops.   Negotiation was usually brief and consent was given in much broader terms, by entrusting oneself to the Dominant's control.

For many of us, much of the psychological satisfaction of submission comes from the desire to be what the Dominant wants - whatever that may be - rather than negotiate what He may or may not do once we submit to Him.  We may not enjoy every activity that He chooses to engage in, but the deep satisfacton that we get from that service...  that submission...  cannot be negotiated.



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